Baby Days

So, it has been a really long time, I've noticed, since I've written. It's time for a new post! I wanted to share, in a shorter post about our recent news. We are pregnant again! I had an ultra sound yesterday to which they've given us a due date of June 6, 2012. Our little nugget is still tiny and I am only 7 weeks as of tomorrow, but I've known now for some time. In fact I think i must have found out at like two weeks, I just knew my body. So alas, the baby days are upon us again. I feel fine for the most part, but have been feeling nausea just about everyday. Same old same old- had it with Lily, have it again. We are thrilled to be a growing family and the the Lord has blesses us again. Lily will be such a sweet and loving big sister- wow- BIG SISTER!? Amazing how things change. Pray for a safe pregnancy!

With Love,
The Johnsons

What was given was ours for only a short time

Sometimes we are allowed to endure experiences that hurt us, and even so, they grow us and shape us, giving us a defined character.

I wasn't sure if I would share this, but I thought that it could help someone who might have gone, or is going through, or even will go through this same thing. I'm still healing.

My husband and I have one beautiful 18 month old daughter together. She's Lily, and she's quite unmistakeable; full of energy and silliness. We adore her. As joy filled our hearts for what was to be, a new life, we basked in the thought of our dear Lilyan becoming a big sister. I was 5 weeks pregnant with "baby Johnson #2" when I started bleeding. At first we thought it was okay, it was light. The next day was much heavier and my blood increased in it's crimson shade. I was afraid, but encouraged by a few dear friends that sometimes bleeding is perfectly fine in early pregnancy. We had known I was pregnant for 3 days. This same day (july 27th) i went to the doctors office to get my blood drawn for my HCG levels. I had to wait until Friday to go back again to see if the HCG's had risen and doubled, or dropped. I was anxious having to wait for the results until Monday, the next business day, but we waited, and come Monday- 5 days after my heaviest day of bleeding, I was informed that my HCG levels had more than doubled down. My levels had gone from 46 to 9 in 2 days. I had miscarried our "baby Johnson #2."

Wednesday was filled with many tears and I cried most of the day. I mourned the loss of our baby, but I never once questioned why God had taken our baby because I understand His character, and His faithfulness. And Beyond my human emotions, He knew what was best for our baby and for us. He is gracious, and gives what is good. And what is good, is that our child is forever in eternity with Jesus Christ, forgoing the sin and sadness of this earthly dwelling place. Someday, when heaven opens it's gates to me, I shall hope to meet the blessed soul who God kept especially for His own. My child is safe in the arms of God, and I have hope in that.

Wednesday night Mike and I honored our baby atop a darkened mountain, overlooking the glow of the city. While power lines crackled and the bushes sang their night song, we let the memory of our baby quietly lay upon the hill, but never left from our hearts.

I wanted to share a poem a friend of a friend had on her blog that her parents had written for her when she experienced the loss of her second child as well. It defines what i cannot put easily into words, but feel so deeply.

To My Baby

Is it proper to cry for a baby too small for a coffin?

Yes, I think it is.

Does Jesus have my too-small baby in His tender arms?

Yes, I think He does.

There is so much I do not know about you- My child

He, she?

quiet or restless?

Will I recognize someone I knew so little about, yet loved so much?

Yes, I think I will.

Ah, sweet, small child

Can I say that loving you is like loving God?

Loving, yet not seeing.

Holding, yet not touching.

Caressing, yet separated by the chasm of time.

No tombstone marks your sojourn, and only God recorded your name.

The banquet was not canceled, just moved, just moved.

Yet a tear remains where baby should have been.

A week ago today, on Wednesday July 27, 2011, our sweet baby was given into Jesus' arms. We'll never know him/her, hold him/her, kiss him/her. We'll never smell his/her sweet baby scent, or lavish in his/her baby snuggles. But we know that our dear little child is safe in the arms of God, rescued from sin and this fleeting world.

We will always love you, and hold you close to our hearts, little child.

I await for the day when i can see your face.

The beautiful flowers our friends got for our little baby, Lily loves to smell them :)

Ta Da!!! Finito. Sort of.

Remember in my last post where i talked about my funky desk; my little ugly duckling? Well, it's done. Aesthetically anyways. I still have to Mod Podge the innards. I have an aqua and gold french Medallions material that will be put into the drawers, so once that part is complete as well, i'll let you in for a peek.

Here is the fantastic transformation from dull and yucky, to lush and elegant!

Before:

took some sweat;

I sanded

I primed x 2

I re-sanded any nicks in the paint

I painted on two thick coats of a pure white semi gloss (body)

I painted on three thick coats of a cottage black semi gloss (top surface)

I poly'd the entire body, including the damask wooden knob x 2

And ended up with a lovely and elegant piece of furniture...

After:

I ordered a pretty black and white wooden damask knob

And re-applied the original hardware, though much more noticeable this time around

The comparison:

Art

Is in her blood....
First real piece, so special it had to be framed same day :)

Make-overs n' such

I have a friend.
She's an amazing worker in the domestication's of life and enjoys her saws and power tools with enthusiasm, and I enjoy her for enjoying them. I get to see first hand how she works with them and what she creates, and all the "how-to's" of building and creating in laborious times. She has just finished labor on two toddler beds for her teensies, to make room for the third, which is still a cookin' in the oven. We painted last night, and they are beautiful. Along side of her, i have been refinishing a once very ugly and hideous desk. We found it at goodwill, and I have since made rather dramatic changes to it.

Sanding is done.
Priming is done.
Two coats of pure white paint have been applied to the body and a few drawers (still two more to finish).
2-3 coats of cottage black to be applied to the top surface of the desk (yes, a black and white combo desk).
and then,
A few coats of poly to finish her off with strength and durability.
And then again,
paint the existing hardware followed by the last and final touch- a funky 2" damask designed wooden knob for the front and center!! She'll be beautiful.

Pictures will come, dontcha worry much!

2nd Mother's Day

Today is my 2nd mothers day, and it brings me so much joy. I have been blessed beyond words to have been given the sweet gift of motherhood. God is kind, and I am unworthy. Today me and my husband are in charge of the household until the lovely stewards return, but it has been fun to care for the children and test out our abilities with multiple children. I love it. I love big families and i hope and pray that the Lord sees fit for ours to grow from 3 to.....?

We had bible time this morning, and read the girls psalm 8 (for the day) while we sat in a small circle. the oldest t is 2 years old, with the other 2 being only one month apart at 15 and 16 months, so you can imagine how much fun! They sat quietly (for the most part, lol) and listened as we read about the majesty of the Lord and what He's given us dominion over- all the things of this earth. I realize how utterly important it is to start little ones with the bible and prayer early since they need to learn the skill of sitting quietly, and if not taught, then not learned.

The babies are sleeping now while the oldest watches Cinderella, my favorite childhood movie....i've memorized the entire first scene; Cinderella awakes with the birds and mice and sings... "A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep..." I love that line. And speaking of so- I guess my heart wished for something last night while i was fast asleep... I dreamt that i was pregnant with twins, and in the dream, I was far enough along that i could feel them moving and they both kicked me in the ribs. It was so real. I love that our minds have the ability to allow our bodies to "feel." It's amazing the way God has made us, so detailed. In the morning i asked if Mike had twins anywhere in his family, and he said that he's heard that his dad (he's never met him) has twins. It would be SO interesting if one day we get pregnant with twins, and I wouldn't mind. I dream of being pregnant again. I would love for our family to grow. I do hope though, that i don't turn this into an idol- wanting more babies. I should be content with my loveliest Lily flower and with where the Lord has placed us at this season in life, and when the Lord wills, if He wills, we will have more. I hope it's soon. :-)

Today is a sweet day.

25 years on this earth...

...has led me to the most beloved of all. My birthday was yesterday, and I was overjoyed to spend it with some of the sweetest people I treasure. Sounds of melodic, deep bass and tuned keys soared quietly through the old wooden home, while hands of age prepared fine foods and happy voices chattered delightfully; laughter never shying. Children ran and explored, whaled and giggled, and easily enjoyed the tiny toys.

Blessed am I.

Walking to and fro

My little sweet pea of a baby girl is not such a baby anymore. She's learned (rather quickly i must admit) the art of walking. Several weeks ago, she'd taken her first step or two, but nothing happened after that. She's always been super gifted with crawling, can crawl with intensity at high speeds, and even with her head down (though the head-down doesn't usually block her from unseen obstacles). Since we've been blessed by our good friends, to be residing in their home- and having babies upon babies, Lilyan has identified the truth of the term, "Monkey see- Monkey do." I've loved watching her change and learn from the other babes, it's exciting to say the least.

Lily's vocabulary

My darling little 14 month old is quite the talker we are realizing. She is quick to catch on to new words and takes great pleasure in repeating them like a little parrot! I love it. It's so amazing to see how well she is learning! In her vocabulary are the newest words which are:

Tada!
Nose
Help
Up
Please
Thank you
All Done
Pee Pee (LOL!!)

I've counted, and she's speaking 22 words. 22 words? That's a ton of words!!
She also has a sweet appreciation for her little housemates; they all love to share their juice with each other, and once one is out- they are prompt to make sure the other doesn't go thirsty. Many times, they even trade their sippies, especially when you ask them numerous times not to. They are eager to give kisses and hugs, and Lily has been extremely pliable when it comes to new tricks- so cute! She now finds GREAT joy in hiding underneath blankets and chairs, climbing and scaling de-cushioned couches, and giving more hugs than ever!

Oh, and she's walking!! Our tiny little busy-bee is a walker! She's still in the "take several steps then tumble" stage, but is trying many times in a day to walk with bright eyes and toothy smiles. It's actually quite the sight since she's got short legs and a huge-mungus chubby belly. We love her and seeing her grow in deep affection for her little friends Melly-mouse and gigi-lana.

I'm so happy that she is so happy!

Spring Clean

The winds of change have come and spring is in the air!
So it's time to spring clean, which means that i'm going to be getting rid of a lot of stuff, and that is always so refreshing! Going through clothes, going through things. I realize that if i haven't worn it or used it within a certain time-frame, that I don't need it, either. It's far too easy to hold on to things, but i'm hoping to change that area of my life and live a little more simple.

What I really need, is a nice organization system with an inspiring color palate; baskets, buckets, bins and shelves. Most of the stuff we have now is baby stuff... Lilyan probably has more stuff than we do together. I love it though, because she loves it and has a lot of fun with her many toys.

Speaking of Lily-love, she just belly dived onto her pink collapsible drawer in hopes of getting to the other side. I guess she reasoned, in her little mind, that that was easier than say, crawling around it ;-P

Happy 1st Birthday my Love!!

Can it be so?
Can you already be 1 year old, little lily of my heart? Today is your birthday, my sweet. Your daddy and I are overjoyed at the amazing year we've been given with you and are thrilled to see you growing, and changing, developing and becoming more aware. It has been a year of many laughs and smiles, as well as hardship and sleepless nights, but each moment has been worth all of the sacrificial love we've been blessed to give you. We enjoy everything about you, Lilyan. We enjoy how much you love your family and your big boy cousins and how much you've blessed this home. We enjoy that you are growing into your own wonderful personality and that we have the blessed opportunity to instruct you and teach you. We praise God for crafting and creating you just the way you are!

Our love for you grows and grows...
Our Precious Lily Rose...

The princess is ready for her gifts!

Getting ready with tutu and all...

  

Happy birthday from Dada and Mama

Your auntie cooked you yummy apple pancakes!

I love everything about this chubby picture!

Birthday cupcake smash!

Making silly baby noises while you eat!

Squishy cupcake hands!

May the Lord bless us with another year to spend with you, sweetest one.

Happy 1st Birthday my love!!

lily tries honeydew melon with pineapple and doesn't like it!

Funny girl!

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baby says "uh-oh" and gives mama kisses.

Sweet Lily gives kisses at one week under 1year old.

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Interior Design

Is something I've always been interested in, and I'm slowly discovering my style. When i was young, i wanted nothing more than to be an interior designer. Honestly, i made the wrong decisions, like many of us do, and did not go with my gut, 'course the Lord had other life plans for me in my teenage years anyways. Now, I pay close attention to detail and have a natural eye for all things exquisite and design oriented. I'm learning new things about myself as i go through life, as i baby proof and as i change and mature (at least i hope i'm "maturing," lol) and i'm finding that i'm finally putting a design profile together in my head; the color palates i prefer, the textures i admire, the major and minors of the living space, and it's awesome! A few years ago i was a miss-matched, unidentified mess and had no idea what made me happy, as far as design goes. These days i'm putting a picture together of a future home where there's an airy, light feel from the major pieces, yet depth and richness within the accessories.

I decided to take a "what's your design style," quiz (consider me a cheesy, i enjoyed it), and was able to partially identify with their results. While the results are mostly true, i'm still a huge fan of pops of color and allowing certain ideas in the room to "flow," or be considered a re-run, to adapt the "i meant to do that" sort of symmetrical feel. They said my design style was:

"Rustic Revival (a mix of modern and country)"
You can take kid out of the country but you can't take the country out of the kid... or is your theme "you can take the kid out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the kid?" Either way you play it, you are one of the unique individuals who loves a mix of modern and country. The clean lines of the modern softened by rustic /vintage elements is the perfect mix in your mind. And can we blame you? You've taken the best aspects of two popular designs and mixed them in a manner that appeals young and old alike. A subtle background of white or light colors provides a nice canvas for all the wonderful flea market, eBay or garage sale finds as well as the classic modern pieces that you love.

Materials: The material palette for urban country runs the gamut because of the two extremes being mixed. On the countryside you see a lot of wood, woven rope, canvas and linen, rustic metals and wrought iron, cowhide and vintage leather. On the more modern side, you see acrylic, satin and polished nickel and chrome, glass, faux fur, refined leather, fiberglass and sleek woods. It's the mixing of these elements that makes the style work so well. Sea-grass and other natural woven materials are often used for floor coverings. Concrete and natural wood floors are very popular, and work really well together.

Colors: When it comes to color, think light, casual and airy. White, pale gray or beige, khaki and sage; all of these colors make nice, subtle backdrops for Urban Country style. Think of the colors of natural linen, concrete, and if you'd like to go dark, use the dark brownish-black of iron or the deep burnt orange of rust. The key is to keep the spaces feeling open (go modern!) and yet warm (yay for rustic!), and by going light on the walls and major pieces and more color on the accents and accessories you can achieve this mix really well."

something like this-

Like i said, i mostly agree. But i also agree with this-

1. Cobalt blue with Orange, beige, dark woods and White

Actually, i really love these two colors together, and these are definitely my first choice. I think their contrast is absolutely stunning, and i would love very much to incorporate these into design in the future. Cobalt and poppy orange; Bliss.

Here are some other styles that are quite agreeable in the portfolio amidst my mind as a second choice:

2. Grey with yellow, black and white accents

3. Gold with black and white accents

Though these are indeed dramatic, I can appreciate the bold taste; 

pops of orange to brighten it up with lively bronze accents.

I love finding out NEW things about how best to accentuate my style.

Health and food for Body and mind

I'm trying a new mindset on, and I think I like it.
I'm so easily tempted and swayed by food which is an unfortunate event, but I have been really putting my body into subjection and only allowing myself to eat what would be the best for my body, and not in big quantities, either. It's been fabulous. I wanted to jot down a list of the staple things I'd like to always have on hand; especially as far as daily snacking goes, but I didn't want to write it all down on paper because if i lost it, well....that would defeat the purpose. I would ideally strive for all things Organic, and to consuem less processed and refined sugar (and knowing the huge-mungus sweet tooth i was born with, that'll be a challenge....)

Todays snack is: A bit of low fat cottage cheese with some granola, walnuts, almonds and sliced peaches. Amazing!

So, here goes. This is more so a list for myself, but feel free to read....lol

Walnut pieces
Almonds (whole raw, whole dry roasted)
Dried cranberries/ rasins
Granola
Low fat cottage cheese
Low fat vanilla yogurt
Low fat cheeses (swiss, sharp chedder, mozzarella)
Raw honey (love love love)
Unsalted almond butter (great with the ingredient mentioned above on a little spoon)
Canned black beans
Canned chik-peas (homemade humus)
A reduced fat whole grain cracker of some sort
Apples (Gala, fugi)
Carrots
     -Try grating apples with carrots, and adding a bit of lemon and honey for a tangy-sweet Cole slaw (mhm!)
Protein powder (Whey)
Baby spinach
Nutritional Yeast Flakes (especially with ingredient mentioned below)
Braggs (all purpose liquid seasoning with amino acids, great for a vegetarian diet, but absolutely delicious)
Avocados
Pesto (the best with an aldente pasta and a little olive oil)
Trader Joe's already made wheat pizza dough
Chicken broth/ Chicken stock (I use this often as a base when cooking food for baby)
Coconut oil/ butter (great for body, hair and cooking)
Chewable Vit C
Super B-Complex (turns food into energy, so beneficial after a workout)
Super firm Tofu (amazing as a cold cubed protein in salads)
100% fruit juice: Cran, Pom, Grape...
Trader Joe's "Green" juice (veggies and fruits)
Trader Joe's sparkling orange water
Trader Joe's honey wheat pretzels


...more to come....