Flowers in our Garden

We have a second daughter, friends. She will enter this world some time around june 3rd, and until then, we shall dream of what she looks like. Will she have a curls, will she have red hair or blonde? Will she look more like Mom or a bit more like Dad? Is she going to be very familiar to Lily, her beautiful and loving big sister?

We've decided to add another flower to our ever growing garden.
So.

Daisy is her name.
Daisy LeAnn Johnson.
Daisy and Lily, our flowers.

Daisy was Daddy's idea, and when he first said it, i knew it was right. I said, "Can we just leave it at that? it's perfect." You know when something just feels right? It felt right. It was right. It is right. And i love it.

LeAnn comes from a combination of two names. Mike's sister and mothers middle name is Lee, which means "Meadow." And my grandmothers first name is Ann, which is Hebrew for "God has favored me."

I like to think the meaning of Daisy's name is, "Like a daisy in her meadow, God has favored me."
And it is so true.
He has favored this child. He gave us this child, not the last, which is serving him gloriously in heaven right now. I do long to meet our second child, and will once God opens his doors to meet me face to face. But to think that God chose this child, our Daisy, means that she's something truly special. So i think her name fits her well.

Welcome to our family, Daisy LeAnn Johnson.

This was 2 weeks ago at 18 weeks, we are currently 20 weeks 3 days.

Baby Days

So, it has been a really long time, I've noticed, since I've written. It's time for a new post! I wanted to share, in a shorter post about our recent news. We are pregnant again! I had an ultra sound yesterday to which they've given us a due date of June 6, 2012. Our little nugget is still tiny and I am only 7 weeks as of tomorrow, but I've known now for some time. In fact I think i must have found out at like two weeks, I just knew my body. So alas, the baby days are upon us again. I feel fine for the most part, but have been feeling nausea just about everyday. Same old same old- had it with Lily, have it again. We are thrilled to be a growing family and the the Lord has blesses us again. Lily will be such a sweet and loving big sister- wow- BIG SISTER!? Amazing how things change. Pray for a safe pregnancy!

With Love,
The Johnsons

What was given was ours for only a short time

Sometimes we are allowed to endure experiences that hurt us, and even so, they grow us and shape us, giving us a defined character.

I wasn't sure if I would share this, but I thought that it could help someone who might have gone, or is going through, or even will go through this same thing. I'm still healing.

My husband and I have one beautiful 18 month old daughter together. She's Lily, and she's quite unmistakeable; full of energy and silliness. We adore her. As joy filled our hearts for what was to be, a new life, we basked in the thought of our dear Lilyan becoming a big sister. I was 5 weeks pregnant with "baby Johnson #2" when I started bleeding. At first we thought it was okay, it was light. The next day was much heavier and my blood increased in it's crimson shade. I was afraid, but encouraged by a few dear friends that sometimes bleeding is perfectly fine in early pregnancy. We had known I was pregnant for 3 days. This same day (july 27th) i went to the doctors office to get my blood drawn for my HCG levels. I had to wait until Friday to go back again to see if the HCG's had risen and doubled, or dropped. I was anxious having to wait for the results until Monday, the next business day, but we waited, and come Monday- 5 days after my heaviest day of bleeding, I was informed that my HCG levels had more than doubled down. My levels had gone from 46 to 9 in 2 days. I had miscarried our "baby Johnson #2."

Wednesday was filled with many tears and I cried most of the day. I mourned the loss of our baby, but I never once questioned why God had taken our baby because I understand His character, and His faithfulness. And Beyond my human emotions, He knew what was best for our baby and for us. He is gracious, and gives what is good. And what is good, is that our child is forever in eternity with Jesus Christ, forgoing the sin and sadness of this earthly dwelling place. Someday, when heaven opens it's gates to me, I shall hope to meet the blessed soul who God kept especially for His own. My child is safe in the arms of God, and I have hope in that.

Wednesday night Mike and I honored our baby atop a darkened mountain, overlooking the glow of the city. While power lines crackled and the bushes sang their night song, we let the memory of our baby quietly lay upon the hill, but never left from our hearts.

I wanted to share a poem a friend of a friend had on her blog that her parents had written for her when she experienced the loss of her second child as well. It defines what i cannot put easily into words, but feel so deeply.

To My Baby

Is it proper to cry for a baby too small for a coffin?

Yes, I think it is.

Does Jesus have my too-small baby in His tender arms?

Yes, I think He does.

There is so much I do not know about you- My child

He, she?

quiet or restless?

Will I recognize someone I knew so little about, yet loved so much?

Yes, I think I will.

Ah, sweet, small child

Can I say that loving you is like loving God?

Loving, yet not seeing.

Holding, yet not touching.

Caressing, yet separated by the chasm of time.

No tombstone marks your sojourn, and only God recorded your name.

The banquet was not canceled, just moved, just moved.

Yet a tear remains where baby should have been.

A week ago today, on Wednesday July 27, 2011, our sweet baby was given into Jesus' arms. We'll never know him/her, hold him/her, kiss him/her. We'll never smell his/her sweet baby scent, or lavish in his/her baby snuggles. But we know that our dear little child is safe in the arms of God, rescued from sin and this fleeting world.

We will always love you, and hold you close to our hearts, little child.

I await for the day when i can see your face.

The beautiful flowers our friends got for our little baby, Lily loves to smell them :)

Ta Da!!! Finito. Sort of.

Remember in my last post where i talked about my funky desk; my little ugly duckling? Well, it's done. Aesthetically anyways. I still have to Mod Podge the innards. I have an aqua and gold french Medallions material that will be put into the drawers, so once that part is complete as well, i'll let you in for a peek.

Here is the fantastic transformation from dull and yucky, to lush and elegant!

Before:

took some sweat;

I sanded

I primed x 2

I re-sanded any nicks in the paint

I painted on two thick coats of a pure white semi gloss (body)

I painted on three thick coats of a cottage black semi gloss (top surface)

I poly'd the entire body, including the damask wooden knob x 2

And ended up with a lovely and elegant piece of furniture...

After:

I ordered a pretty black and white wooden damask knob

And re-applied the original hardware, though much more noticeable this time around

The comparison:

Art

Is in her blood....
First real piece, so special it had to be framed same day :)

Make-overs n' such

I have a friend.
She's an amazing worker in the domestication's of life and enjoys her saws and power tools with enthusiasm, and I enjoy her for enjoying them. I get to see first hand how she works with them and what she creates, and all the "how-to's" of building and creating in laborious times. She has just finished labor on two toddler beds for her teensies, to make room for the third, which is still a cookin' in the oven. We painted last night, and they are beautiful. Along side of her, i have been refinishing a once very ugly and hideous desk. We found it at goodwill, and I have since made rather dramatic changes to it.

Sanding is done.
Priming is done.
Two coats of pure white paint have been applied to the body and a few drawers (still two more to finish).
2-3 coats of cottage black to be applied to the top surface of the desk (yes, a black and white combo desk).
and then,
A few coats of poly to finish her off with strength and durability.
And then again,
paint the existing hardware followed by the last and final touch- a funky 2" damask designed wooden knob for the front and center!! She'll be beautiful.

Pictures will come, dontcha worry much!

2nd Mother's Day

Today is my 2nd mothers day, and it brings me so much joy. I have been blessed beyond words to have been given the sweet gift of motherhood. God is kind, and I am unworthy. Today me and my husband are in charge of the household until the lovely stewards return, but it has been fun to care for the children and test out our abilities with multiple children. I love it. I love big families and i hope and pray that the Lord sees fit for ours to grow from 3 to.....?

We had bible time this morning, and read the girls psalm 8 (for the day) while we sat in a small circle. the oldest t is 2 years old, with the other 2 being only one month apart at 15 and 16 months, so you can imagine how much fun! They sat quietly (for the most part, lol) and listened as we read about the majesty of the Lord and what He's given us dominion over- all the things of this earth. I realize how utterly important it is to start little ones with the bible and prayer early since they need to learn the skill of sitting quietly, and if not taught, then not learned.

The babies are sleeping now while the oldest watches Cinderella, my favorite childhood movie....i've memorized the entire first scene; Cinderella awakes with the birds and mice and sings... "A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep..." I love that line. And speaking of so- I guess my heart wished for something last night while i was fast asleep... I dreamt that i was pregnant with twins, and in the dream, I was far enough along that i could feel them moving and they both kicked me in the ribs. It was so real. I love that our minds have the ability to allow our bodies to "feel." It's amazing the way God has made us, so detailed. In the morning i asked if Mike had twins anywhere in his family, and he said that he's heard that his dad (he's never met him) has twins. It would be SO interesting if one day we get pregnant with twins, and I wouldn't mind. I dream of being pregnant again. I would love for our family to grow. I do hope though, that i don't turn this into an idol- wanting more babies. I should be content with my loveliest Lily flower and with where the Lord has placed us at this season in life, and when the Lord wills, if He wills, we will have more. I hope it's soon. :-)

Today is a sweet day.